Staying Connected

So many times over the years technology has robbed me of time with my boys.  I have spent hours through out their childhood arguing over time spent on the computer, on video games, and on their phones.  I placed strict regulations on their time spent with all of these things during their teen years.  I tried to be a responsible parent by making rules for time they could spend surfing the web, what sites they may visit, finding programs that police the web and what they can see, and overseeing computer relationships.  I have given them other options like books, board games, card games, time outside and limited TV time.

Now for the reality when they got into the later years in high school and during college, all of that flushed straight down the nearest toilet and it flushed fast!!!  The innovation of the smart phone has given our kids the ability to be online, playing games, be in contact with people all over the world, texting, Facebooking, Snapchatting, Tweeting all within seconds without you even knowing they are doing it.  It is the double-edged sword of having the ability to stay in touch with your kids when you need to and exposing them to this BIG world.  I am no expert in giving an educated opinion on when and how to allow your kids to have smart phones but as a mother who has raised three boys I have experience from going through a time with limited technology to one of not being able to survive without it.

We bought our first computer when I was pregnant with my third son.  I saw the way I could waste a great deal of time on the computer, however then it was because it was dial up internet connections and that could take an incredible amount of time.  Now some 18 years later we own five computers, not one desktop, and five smart phones.  We can be in touch in a matter of seconds, which means mom or dad text and they return the text when and how they want.  However, you may receive multiple snap chats from one child, some being ones you wished you had never seen i.e. your son at a festival in Spain twerking at a group of girls who are laughing excessively.  It is amazing how technology has changed our world and our accessibility.

Now when I visit my mother in rural North Carolina I become extremely frustrated that she doesn’t have internet access.  I don’t know have the ability to check my Facebook wall and notifications anytime I want, which is frequent.  I do have my smart phone to check emails and Facebook but it isn’t as easy as opening my laptop and clicking on my Google Chrome and opening my Gmail and Facebook.  I am spoiled, yes I know!!!  I have become what I never wanted my children to become, needing the internet whenever I wanted!  All those hours I spent policing them only to succumb to the powerful draw of the beast.

Still I have suggestions for you while raising kids in the age of technology.

1.   ALWAYS protect your children from the evil that lies behind the click of a cursor.  There are evil people out there ready to pounce on children who are unmonitored.  Don’t let your child be a victim.

2.   ALWAYS protect the innocent of your children.  Use the programs that will block inappropriate websites.  Yes they will one day find a way around it, yes they will be exposed in social settings.  But while you can protect their innocence in this world that seems to want to expose our children earlier and earlier to the sexual experiences of life.

3.   Give them alternatives to sitting on the computer or on a couch with a smart phone on Snapchat, Twitter, Facebook or whatever the most current time suck of the moment.  Play board games or cards, go for hikes, go biking, play a game outside anything that will distract them from those time sucks.

4.   Don’t allow phones at the table while eating.  That includes YOU.  No business matter, friend or family is more important than the conversation with your children and or spouse.

5.   Never allow your phone or computer to delay you in responding to your child or spouse.  If you are asked a question don’t delay for more than a few seconds.  Give them your undivided attention.  Put it down, close the laptop or turn away from the desktop and look at them eye to eye.  This includes your spouse, your children are watching.  If you don’t give your spouse your undivided attention your children will learn it is not important.

Now I am praying that I have enough bars on my iPhone connection to use my HotSpot while in the middle of nowhere at my mama’s house where there is no internet, wireless or wired, to post this blog!