Passion...

I have been asked many times what my passion in life is and I immediately answer Jesus and my family.  For half of my life raising my children has been a huge passion.  I read books and articles, watched interviews and how to shows, and sought advice from mom mentors on how to raise my children the best I could and I prayed.  I prayed that I wouldn't mess up too much and that they would grow to be independent men.  I messed up a lot but I know they are all three growing into independent men.  Sometimes I question why didn't I raise mama's boys that never want to leave home???  My boys love me but have no desire to stay home and not pursue their dreams!  Yes they do visit and call for help but around 16 when they get their drivers license there is a gradual separation from parents and in to independence that happens.  Usually by the time they go to college they have been partly MIA in your life so it isn't as drastic as if they left at 12 when you were their everything.

Now that my youngest is a rising Senior I have had some trouble with knowing What's Next for ME!!!!  When I talk to people about it they immediately go to the 'don't be a domineering mom', 'do you not want them to become men?', 'They have to grow up and move on.'  They are SOOOO missing my point.  I do want my children to grow up and move on, but what does that mean for me.  The guilt of the excitement to focus more on my hubby and our relationship to the deep sadness of the boys being out of the house can be a minute by minute occurrence.

Recently I have a better grasp on what it is I am having so much trouble with, my passion.  For 24 years my passion has been my boys, and of course I would say my husband but there was a time when he wasn't my focus.  As I sit here and think about what will my passion be now I find myself without an answer.  So when you don't have an answer where do you go?  Google!!!!  Here is a little of what I found when I Googled 'How to find your Passion'.  There are 3 steps to Passion, Get Unstuck, How to Recognize Passion and many more.  There were some good ideas then some that confused me.  Find a Hobby, like my kids were a hobby not a full time, all consuming event for 24 years so far.

So I have come to a list that I will begin to work on to find the new passion and drive in my life!

1. Pray-  Before embarking on anything Pray first, but definitely when you embarking on something as large as the empty nest and all of the emotions that come.  
2. Reconnect with your husband/wife-  Get to know him, he has changed since you were married just as you have, thank GOD!!!!  I do not want to have a relationship with a person who hasn't changed in the past 25+ years.  Date him again, fall in love more, seduce him, whatever it is that you would do to rekindle that passion you had for him when you were in the beginnings of your relationship.
3. Make a bucket list-  Not a list of things to do before you die, but a list of the many things you have put on hold while raising the kids.  Those things that you couldn't do with 3 rambunctious boys tagging along.  Things that you can do spontaneously without having to make sure everyone is taken care of before you can leave and NEED to return because of some 'emergency'.
4. Give & Serve-  Begin to give of your gifts and talents to those who need someone like you.  Give financially if it is only $10, buy someone's coffee behind you at the coffee shop, pay for a couple who are dining near you.  Give of your time, spend time with organizations that you find interesting and are doing good things for people in need.  Serving others is a great way to get you out of your own way!  It also can spark a passion that you may have never known before.
5. Get Uncomfortable-  We will never accomplish the purpose and passion in our lives if we do the same old thing day in and day out.  Do something new, out of your comfort zone.  Get to know new people, invite them over for dinner.  Try a dance class, or learn a new language.  Go to a foreign country on a mission trip.  Just do something new and out of the ordinary for you.

These are the things that I am challenging myself with over the next year to find the new passion for my future ME!  I am excited about this new adventure, and a bit sad, but I know through it all God will open the doors that I need to enter and close the ones I don't need to enter.  Another season of life...