Labor Day...

...a creation of the labor movement and is dedicated to the social and economic achievements of American workers. It is a yearly national tribute to the contributors workers have made to the strength, prosperity and well-being of our country.

"Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for human masters." Colossians 3:23

Standing In The Fire...

My season is changing if I like it or not. This weekend I moved my youngest son into his dorm in New York City. I love this city and have lived in it for a summer but when it comes to leaving my youngest here it seems so much more daunting. But what is much more daunting is my new season of life. I have been a full time mom, plus may hours, for 25 years. As my older two sons are living independent lives I now move into the season of full time wife. What do I do now?

While reading the story of Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego one thing that strikes me is when the three were in the fire, they were not alone. Fire that destroyed the men who took them to the furnace and burned off the bindings that the three were tied by the strongest soldiers of the army. Even in the heat of the moment they were there with Jesus being protected.

This season feels like a fire burning around me. The heat of not knowing what my life looks like in the near future. The heat of not knowing what is next in my marriage. The heat of loneliness that burns my heart. Fear engulfs me like the smoke rising. I am fearful of being old. I am fearful of what lies ahead. I am fearful that nothing lies ahead for me. I have done the hardest job on earth and that is all I am to do. I am fearful that time with my husband will reveal that he does not want to be with me. The fear suffocates me when I allow it. I have stuffed down the fear before trying to hide it, overcome it, extinguish it. I learned from that mistake. Pushing it down does nothing but intensify the flame and smoke. I stand in the fire as Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego did. I stand and allow Him to refine me in the season I am in.

I know that Jesus is with me. Protecting, Supporting. Guiding. When my circumstances burn around me I am not alone. I am choosing to stand in the fire and allow Him to protect me, support me and guide me to all that there is to be in this season.

Are you in the midst of circumstances that feel as if you are in a fiery furnace? Are you standing in the fire knowing that God is with you; protecting supporting and guiding? What season are you finding yourself in that you need to stand in the fire to find your way with God?

Now I wait...

Oh how easy to encourage others when they meet anxious times and circumstances in their life. "God will lead you, lean on him." "He is in control." "Stand in His Will." While attending the She Speaks Writers and Speakers Conference a month ago one of the things I most enjoyed was being with like-minded writers and speakers through the anxiousness of presenting our book's one page.

One by one we would enter a room to exit trying to be strong after a quick response of "Build your platform." "Read these three books." "Speaking may be a better route for you."  "Narrow your focus." "I'll be in touch." And many more. A few ladies were asked for their proposals and a few were offered self publishing guidance. In one of the sessions Lysa Terkeurst gave great direction on narrowing your focus and began to pray about my focus.

Having gone in with high expectations many left feeling deflated. However, we all kept our heads up and professed His Will not mine. But truly on the inside some of us bled a little. I know I did. I was hoping to find focus and a plan for the impending empty nest. I am not saying that it was a bad experience, just the opposite, it was humbling and rewarding. I prayed and sought guidance from God, as I had before but with more intensity. I prayed that His path would be clear, not my desires. I prayed for focus.

When I returned home I took time off from writing. (Do writers ever take time off?) It isn't so easy to encourage me when I am alone and deep into my own thoughts. I took time off to pray and yes write, not on my book but ideas. God kept nudging me, shoving me in a very focused direction. During the past few weeks God pressed on my heart something He has nudged me with before. He wants me to write about marriage, something I speak about often and have even taught a marriage course with my husband. I decided to get out of God's way and tackle the topic of marriage. Ideas flowed. I bought domain names. I began to build a blog.

I told my prayer warriors who had valiantly prayed for me before the conference that I had put my book on a shelf and would be pursuing my new blog. I had left my hope of publishing that non-fiction in the lobby of the hotel after the conference. I needed to narrow my focus. I knew I was on the right track in what God had called me to write because less than 24 hours after starting the blog it was hacked! The enemy struck in the form of an internet hacker.

After a week of waiting to regain control of my blog I was at peace with the circumstances. It was a time to organize my thoughts and ideas, put a plan together for the outline of the blog and begin writing entries. Then there was an email. When I saw the email I couldn't remember where I had seen the sender's name before. I thought for a moment before opening. The lightbulb in my memory surged into full blown electricity. She is the publisher that said I will be in touch. And now here she was. "I would like to present your proposal to my team." WHAT?!?!?!?! Something like this in the peace of the chaotic moment?

I pondered the changes I should make on the proposal. I prayed. I got two endorsements from authors. I prayed. I wrote the email. I prayed. I attached the proposal. I prayed. I prayed for His Will to be done. I prayed for His purpose to be glorified. I prayed. Then I hit send. My body was shaking, I wanted to vomit!!! And then I prayed for God's hands to be in the mix not mine. I prayed for His abilities to handle this not mine. I found peace. Peace that no matter what anxieties or circumstances, He is with me and His plan will prevail even if I cannot see what lies ahead.

Now I wait. I wait for the next step. I continue to move forward in the calling God has placed on me to write about marriage. But I wait for His guidance in all things. And sit in His peace.

10 Things I learned from my first Writer’s Conference…

10 Things I learned from my first Writer’s Conference…

1.     Surround yourself. Being surrounded by others that are likeminded and focused is extremely inspiring!

2.     Business Cards. Bring Business Cards WITH your photo on them! This makes it easy to put a face with a name!

3.     Separate Sections. Place your business cards in a completely separate section than the cards you are collecting. I was handed the wrong card by at least five women. I am glad I read this tip before attending the conference!

4.     Card note. Write a note on each business card you are given so you have a reminder where and when you met the person. I kept up with this on the first two days. The third day was way too overwhelming! I gathered over 100 cards on the first two days and almost as many on the third.

5.     Bring a notebook. I brought a one-subject notebook to take notes. The conference gave you a book with outlines of each talk but having extra space to write was invaluable. Organize the notebook by making a list of the sessions and talks you take notes on. I used the last page of the notebook to create the list. These made it much easier to refer back to what order your notes are in when you want to refer back.

6.     Extra Pens. Bring more than a couple of pens. I ran out of ink in two pens and half of another. So much great information.

7.     Star and Highlight nuggets. When taking notes put a star or highlight those sticky statements or important nuggets of wisdom. This allows you to see where the impact of the session occurred for you.

8.     Build lasting relationships. Make contact with the writers that you felt a connection with. They can be a great resource during and after the conference!

9.     Be humble and encouraging. Promoting yourself to other writers doesn’t always encourage them to spend time with you. Invest time in others and what they are writing; it creates a mutual interest and encouragement.

10. Rest and reenergize. After the conference set your notes aside for a few days to a week. When you revisit them you are able to see them with a fresh eye.

The first writer’s conference was a huge success for me. Not because I got a book deal, but I grew as a writer. I am taking these nuggets of knowledge and continuing to grow. I am blessed to have met so many women who are like-minded and encouraging. If you haven’t been to a conference begin to look for one that meets your need to grow as a writer not just one that has the most availability to publishers or agents. Being around these writers has begun a fire for my future as a writer and my desire to pursue what God has in store for me.

Do you have a suggestion for a different writer’s conference that has been an amazing experience for you?

Running....

Do you ever come upon a situation or a new circumstance that makes you feel so scared that you want to run and never look back? I am heading into so many new circumstances and my natural abilities tell me to be afraid of the change, be afraid of the new. But with renewed strength...

I am attending my first writer's conference this week. Where did this all come from? I never thought that I would take writing so seriously that I would actually pay someone to help with my writing, I hired a writing coach. I never thought I would pay to attend a writing conference, I leave on Wednesday. I never thought I would write a book and pitch the idea to publishers, I have two meeting this week with two publishers. What was I thinking??? I want to run!

Thank God I stopped thinking and started hoping, hoping in the plan God has, hoping in the Will of God not mine, hoping in His Strength not in my own. I stopped thinking of the failures of the past, the hurtful words of the past and started looking forward to the path that God has laid ahead of me, the one where he renews my strength, the one where I will soar and not grow weary. I will walk and not be faint because I am relying on Him, my hope is in the Lord.

Change is not a bad thing. It is an invitation to hang onto the Lord, to live on His strength not our own. New circumstances give us the opportunity to show His greatness in our lives. We don't need to run away!

However, God does want us to run and never look back. He wants us to run to Him, never looking back to where we have come from but toward His open arms!

Are there circumstances in your life where you need your strength to be renewed? Are there things that make you want to run away from God and not toward Him? How can I pray for you?

Being Challenged.....

Challenge. I love to be challenged. That is until it makes me feel uncomfortable and shows me my struggles. Then I feel the pain!

When I first met my husband one of the things that intrigued me the most was that he challenged me. He wasn't negative nor did he just point out my faults but he encouraged me to be the best me I could be. He likes competition, so do I. We played games, cards, basketball, all to the highest level of competition that we could. Sometimes he won, sometimes I won. He challenged me in intelligence also. He pushed me to learn. I never knew how much I loved to learn.

In my adult life I have learned my love of being challenged. I take on most challenges with fervor. I began to look at the things I did not enjoy being challenged with and found that in those times the thing I did not like was the ones that pushed me into areas where I saw my failures more than the ability to grow.

Not embracing challenges is when I question God the most. Why is he making me do this? Why is this happening to me? Why do I have to go through a time of testing? Why me?

When I am challenged to leave my comfort zone, I have learned to embrace rather than run. I strive to embrace what God is doing in my life and the growth he is forging in my spirit. It is not comfortable, it is not easy. In the end, it is exactly what I need to see growth in my spiritual life. I embrace the challenge to grow in God's Word, in His guidance to live a more Godly life. Each day I embrace the challenge that God has put forth. Each day I recognize all the growth potential there is! Each day I embrace His love and His push to be a better me in Him. The best me I can be in God's eyes!

What are you finding challenging lately? Is God refining you as a Christian and pushing you into an area that is outside your comfort zone? What can you do to embrace the challenge and find the growth?

Love Conquers All.......

How much hurt can a human inflict? How can humans hurt others intentionally? I just cannot comprehend it.

This past week a group of Christians were attacked in their church after their Bible Study not because they were Christian but because of the color of their skin. Because they were black they were targeted. Even after hearing the love they felt toward others and God this young man brutally murdered nine individuals. I don't understand how someone can hurt another human being.

I have to continue to believe that Love Conquers All. I have to believe that in loving others we show the love of God. I have to believe that no matter how much you may disagree with someone else's beliefs that you can love them in spite of it.

"If I give all I possess to the poor and give over my body to hardship that I may boast, but do not have love, I gain nothing.

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 

It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 

Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 

It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

Love never fails.

And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. 

But the greatest of these is love.

1Corinthians 13: 3-8, 13

The families of the nine that were murdered this past week showed us the Love from Jesus in action this week. No bitterness, no anger, no throwing flaming arrows, just love. They were in pain and angry. They were hurt and sad. But they showed love. They showed love in the forgiveness that was given to them by God himself. They forgave the murderer less than 48 hours after he took their loved ones.

The families are determined not to respond in kind, said Alana Simmons, who lost her grandfather, the Rev. Daniel Simmons. "Although my grandfather and the other victims died at the hands of hate, this is proof — everyone's plea for your soul is proof they lived in love and their legacies will live in love, so hate won't win," she said. "And I just want to thank the court for making sure that hate doesn't win."

I want to live in that love. I want to proclaim that love. I want to glorify the God that gives us that love.

Is there someone you need to forgive? Do you need to forgive yourself? Forgiveness is not letting them off the hook it is releasing the pain you hold onto. It is releasing the love of God and His glory.

I am praying for you! Yes you! I pray for each of the eyes that read this blog. I pray for each of the spirits that are seeking a more intimate relationship with Him. I pray!

I am praying.

https://localtvwiti.files.wordpress.com/2015/06/charleston-victims.jpg

Being Still.....

I have been quiet. Not because I didn't want to write a blog but because I chose to be quiet. You see over the last month my middle son graduated from college and my baby boy graduated from high school. It has been busy and I prioritized those moments and all the moments in between over the last two weeks.

Through out life we find ourselves overwhelmed with our circumstances and the busy days of life. In those times I find myself stressed out and anxious. Not knowing what is coming next and how I will react to them makes me even more stressed and anxious.

During this past month I chose to sit back, prioritize and pray. I tried to remember to pray first but I didn't always succeed because the to do lists were long. What I did do is embrace each of the moments with my sons for the blessing they were at the time. There was much to do and many places to be so I just did what I needed to do. I didn't add things to my lists that could be put off until later. My house wasn't as clean as it usually is, my writing took a back seat, my laundry piles stacked up and I didn't meet up with friends for lunch.

I chose to be still in the moment. I chose to soak in the experiences. What a difference it made. What a joy to just be with my sons in their moments. I embraced the way God was moving in and through my sons and our moments.

Just taking the time to be still opens up such a deeper experience. Being still in God's presence opens up a freer spirit in which God can move freely. The experience that we can have with God and allowing his will to happen in those moments is miraculous.

As I continue to sit in God's presence my to do list is back in full throttle, my writing is in fast forward, my house is cleaner and my laundry pile is gone. However, in all of my to do's I continue to seek God and allow his will to happen in my life.

I will continue to blog each Monday until I need to be quiet again. When have you found a time in your life where you needed to be quiet? Have you made a priority list putting off the things you can at the time to focus on what is more important? Do you need to be still in this moment?

What a week.....

What a week past and week to come! Two graduations in two weeks makes for a busy and happy mama. I wrote last week a bit about my middle son graduating from East Carolina University. A great accomplishment and a fun time had by all! This week is the graduation of my baby boy from high school. On Saturday night our family hosted the Senior Class and some of the teachers for the dessert portion of their Progressive Dinner. Amazing! The kids were so kind and so grateful.

Candy Buffet

Cupcakes and Cookies

Chocolate Fountain

To Go Bags and Boxes

 

Arrival

 Sugar Crash

Personalized Cookies

 It was beautiful to be able to pray for each student as I made their personalized cookie.

I thought I would be more sad than I am over the impending graduation, but that is not the emotion I am feeling. I have so much joy in how my youngest has grown into a respectful young man. He is ready to leave the nest and spread his wings. I am ready for the nest to be empty so my husband and I can spread our wings in a new season of life.

My hope in the Lord gives me confidence that our sons will be fine and so will we. We will all continue to work for the Lord and seek His guidance in where our new season will take us and our children. God gave me these kids to raise for Him and I have completed that task. I will always be their mom and be here for support but my rearing days are over. We have given them a foundation based on the word of God and we pray for them each day. Now is their time to soar, now is their season to create the life ahead of them. I will miss my baby boy being with me but know that the path before him has been laid and he will be seeking the Lord's guidance in most of his decisions. I wish I could be confident that every decision will be made based on the Lord's word but as a seasoned mom I know that doesn't happen. However, I am confident that the Lord will be by his side through each and every moment and that gives me peace.

The celebration continues! Celebration of life and accomplishments, my baby boy and his high school graduation and the next season of our marriage. I pray that I continue to trust in the Lord and His plan for the roller coaster we call life.

What season are you in or heading into? Do you need prayer for peace, joy and contentment? Let me know, I would love to join you in prayer!

Mothers....

Yesterday the United States recognized mothers with a celebration of Mother's Day. It is quite an honor as a mother to be recognized by others for the selfless job that you do in raising your children or honoring the woman that raised you. We have to remember that not everyone has had the opportunity to give birth or adopt. Other women may not have the loving and kind mother that is seen as the epitome of the mother everyone wants. Our society needs to be sensitive in their neglect of those women.

As women, in my opinion, we are all mothers. Our nurturing nature is a mothering nature. My friend, who is a teacher, has never given birth. However, she is such a loving and nurturing spirit that has mothered hundreds of children over the years. Another friend, who is a plastic surgeon hasn't found her life partner but has mothered the many patients who she serves. The lady who sits in church on Mother's Day Sunday, alone on the back row, mothers through her dedication in the Sunday School room. So many ways, we as women mother those around us.

I have had the honor to give birth to three amazing young men. This past week I was thrilled to celebrate the graduation of my middle child from University!!!  As a mother, the achievements of our children are the happiest of moments. Their disappointments penetrate us deeply with hurt. My son has not been accepted to Medical School, yet. He doesn't know what the next step for his life is. I as a mother want to fix it but know that it is a process of learning and character building. So, I choose to stand tall and celebrate the accomplishment of my Double Degree earning son! Four years of college and two degrees! Graduating Magna Cum Laude from the Honors College! Oh the joys and celebrations!!! 

I thank all the women who have come alongside of me and mothered my son. Mothers of his friends, women teachers, female advisors and professors, my girlfriends and other women in our lives, my sisters, all have had a mothering influence in my sons' lives.

I also want to acknowledge the women who have had great influence on my life because without their guidance and leading I wouldn’t have been able to nurture my boys into adulthood. Since there are too many to name and I am afraid I will leave someone near and dear out I will not list them but know they have been beside me, on my heart and my mind throughout my time of mothering.

I have returned home ready to begin another celebration, the celebration of high school graduation for my youngest son. He will graduate in less than two weeks. This graduation will take me into a new season of my life, the season of an empty nest. However, I am seeing the empty nest theory is failing, as my boys like to come home after graduation until they find their way into their future. The next season of my life is more of a season of renewing, of beginning. Renewing the relationship with my husband where we have no schedule; other than ours, beginning the future with time together and only answering to each other.  Again I thank the women, mothers, in my life, that have taught me the importance of keeping my marriage alive, keeping our friendship vibrant and prioritizing our marriage. Now as we head into this empty nest we are not doing having to repair a relationship but refreshing it.

This next season of my mothering won't just be of my adult children but of the women that I come in contact with when I write and speak. Hopefully when I am blessed with daughter-in-laws by mentoring will also be embraced as I will embrace the nurturing they extend. My mothering duties are not complete and will never be. Every woman is a mother. 

Thank you women! We are powerful and nurturing. We are leaders and supporters. We are strong and sensitive. We are mothers of many whether from our bodies or our hearts. Keep preparing the next generation to be leaders of our community, the community of the world. Keep hugging and crying and disciplining while being there for those who are younger and each other.

What can I pray for you as you continue to nurture and mother those around you? Who can you become a mother figure to? Are there people in your life that you need to thank for being that mother figure to you? Are there women around you that may not have given birth to children but are making an impact in the lives of others? Can you find a way to thank them?

Let my heart be broken.....

I am often inspired by others and their service around the world. The largest group of givers I know are our Military and their families, giving of their lives and serving our country. Many service men and women while overseas witnesses the devastation and severe poverty of others around the world.

Not every person has a desire to serve others. They become self focused and sometimes fall into the victim role of 'I need more help than they do.' The extreme poverty around the world cannot be equated to the needs of most in the United States. Their poverty extends from wants into enormous need. Some people around the world live on less than $1 per day. They don't have access to health care even if they could pay for it. Their children are not able to go to school because of danger, distance or lack of funds. Many children walk hours each way to receive an education if they are able. Mothers are losing babies because of lack of medical professionals.

From World Health Organization (WHO), "Maternal mortality is unacceptably high. About 800 women die from pregnancy- or childbirth-related complications around the world every day. In 2013, 289 000 women died during and following pregnancy and childbirth. Almost all of these deaths occurred in low-resource settings, and most could have been prevented."

It saddens me that most could have been prevented. I am encouraged that there is progress in helping these women in healthy pregnancies and births. Again from WHO, "Improving maternal health is 1 of the 8 Millennium Development Goals (MDGs) adopted by the international community in 2000. Under MDG5, countries committed to reducing maternal mortality by three quarters between 1990 and 2015. Since 1990, maternal deaths worldwide have dropped by 45%."

I want to be a person of positive change! I want to help make improvements in the world. In the front of my Bible I have a slip of paper that I wrote on many years ago. It says, Lord let me know what you want to do for you today. I pray this everyday.

Have you asked the Lord what He wants you to do for Him today? Can you move out of self and into serving? What gifts do you have that you can use to help others? What can you do to help improve the world? Let me know how I can pray for you and the calling God has on your life!