Baseball life questions....

Our family truly believes that God has given this job to my hubby to glorify God and not our family. This life, the baseball life is our normal.  We do understand that it is not the normal that most families outside of baseball understand.  Hopefully after the list of questions and answers below we can help you understand our normal dispelling some of the myths and assumptions.

Throughout our 27 years of Professional Baseball it amazes me as to how many times I have to answer the same questions, understanding that our normal is not yours.  This week after a perplexed looking ticket person (who I see every day of every homestand and he is a very nice man) questioned why my 17 year old was just waking up at 2pm on a Sunday, I began thinking of all the things that people outside of this baseball life don't understand.

(My son was waking up at 2pm after sitting at an 11 inning game the night before that ended at 11:45pm, eating dinner at 12:30am with his dad, and sitting with his dad while he did two more hours of work before going to sleep at 4:30am.)

After the encounter I sent out a request to baseball wives through Facebook and then questioned  wives at the ballpark during the game about repetitive questions they are asked.  These are not just questions from strangers or acquaintances, some they are from family who have lived through these times with us!   Again, our normal is not the normal of the greater population.  Hopefully this list can answer some of the questions many of you have about our lives and what we are able or unable to do in it!

1. Will your hubby be coming with you?  If this question is asked between February 14th and November 1st the answer is NO.
2. I called this morning at 8am, why didn't you answer?  It is a higher probability that I have gone to bed closer to 8am than getting up then between April 1 (beginning of regular season) and November 1 (if all goes well we are in the playoffs in October).
3. Do you and your hubby want to have dinner when you are in town with the team? My hubby goes to the ballpark around 1pm and doesn't return until after midnight most nights so it's me or nothing!
4. What are you doing for summer vacation? First we haven't taken a summer vacation as a family EVER. Second, BASEBALL.
5. With all the money you make you should pay for my _____.  What's the problem?  The problem is that my hubby did not commit to supporting your family or to share in the salary he is making (even if you think he is overpaid).
6. Can you get me an autograph from ____?  No, we commit at the beginning of every year to give to specified charities not individuals or families.  Also, we don't even allow our children to get autographs.  This is our family and asking for autographs from family is much like asking us #5. 
7. Do you know the players?  Well yes. We know the people my hubby works with, just like you know the people your hubby/wife works with.
8. Wow how cool is it to be a wife in baseball?   I am very proud of my hubby and his hard 'work' at playing/coaching a game for a living.  I find it cool that he is living his dream!
9. Don't you think _____ (insert players name) is HOT???  No actually I think my hubby is hot and don't look at other men that way, especially friends' husbands/boyfriends who are 15-20 years younger than me.
10. Would you like me to give you a list of great places to eat dinner when you are in ____ (insert city name)?  That would be lovely but no.  When we are in a city we are going to games each and every night! (OK there are the occasional travel days that the flight gets in early enough for dinner...and we do take advantage of A restaurant)
11. Would you like to come out to our house for a cookout when you are in _____ (insert city name)?  Again a very kind gesture but we do not have a car and are staying at a hotel usually very near the ballpark so we walk or cab it...and again there is a game each and every night!
12. What is your favorite team?  Why the ____(insert team my hubby is with) of course.  They pay the paycheck, and no that response is not because of the almighty $$ but that I am loyal to my hubby and his employer!
13. Do you all (players coaches) hang out together in the off season? No, many players/coaches live in many different cities across the US and usually spend their off seasons staying close to home with their families.
14. Can you get me a date with ___ (insert famous player's name)?  No I am not a personal dating service and I think his wife/girlfriend may have a problem with that.
15. Why are your children not in school in _____ (the city of your hubby's team)?  We as coaches only have one year contracts so we don't find that moving every year is good for our family.  We as players could be traded in any given year so we choose to settle in one spot not related to baseball, usually in a southern state/southwest state so he can workout in the off season easier than in the snow.
16. What do you DO all day?  Well I take care of the finances, travel, the house, the apartment, the family and friends that come to the game, charity work, schedule his life outside of baseball, the children and their schedules, doctors' appointments, grocery shopping, cleaning, emotionally support him, taxi service for him and the kids, and let me see....not much else.
17. So where are you going for...Valentine's Day, Mother's Day, July 4th, your birthday, his birthday, the kids birthday, Labor Day?  We will more than likely be at a ballgame and not always at our home field.
18. Can I get on the field to take batting practice? No, but you can watch while the guys work.
19. I was a really good pitcher in little league.  Do you think I could get a tryout with the team? No, if you were really good then you were seen then...and that was 30 years ago...
20. My son is amazing at baseball and he needs a scout to see him, he is 8.  Can your husband get a scout to come see my son play?  My suggestion would be to wait until he is in high school or college where scouts who know what they are doing can see him...my hubby is a coach not a scout.
21. Aren't you terribly worried that your hubby has a girlfriend?  No my hubby is a man of God and has a commitment to Him to stay monogamous.  Plus he has me as a wife, so NO!
22. Do you regret giving up your career for your hubby's?  No I chose to stay at home and raise the next generation while supporting a hardworking loving husband.
23. When is your hubby going to quit and get a real job?  My hubby is fulfilling the plan the Lord has laid before him.  It is a real job serving God!  Also, he will never because we are all use to this schedule and who knows if we could survive all the time together if he had a 9-5 job with weekends off!!!!!
24. How are you a Christian in baseball?  There are a lot of Christians in baseball, very strong Christians.  The media likes to focus on the bad choices of a few instead of focusing on the good of many.
25. What church do you and your hubby attend when you are in ____? (Fill in MLB city)  My hubby works on Saturday night and Sunday mornings so we do not attend church together in any given city.  When I can I find a church near where we live to attend.  Fortunately we have Baseball Chapel, an organization that provides a Sunday morning service in each of the MLB and Minor League cities.  They also provide bible study for both the men and the women.

Stumbling through the Seasons and Finding me....

As I stumble through the season of endings, that of being a mother of children at home, I am beginning to piece together the constants in my life and focusing on their significance as I begin to find footing in the next season of beginnings.

1. Baseball:  The one absolute constant in my life is baseball.  Not only because my husband in a coach, but that I have loved the game for the majority of my life.  I began listening to the radio as the Yankees play, to watching friends play in middle school, high school and college.  I met my husband who was and is a baseball coach.  All three of my boys have played with extreme passion.  So many times in this crazy baseball life I have focused on the multiple moves, long days spent apart, and the loneliness that can overwhelm you at times.  Seeing baseball as my constant shows me that it has been such a blessing.  We may not know where we are going to be year to year but I do know that when I am there we are blessed with great family and friends through baseball.
2. Love of giving:  I have always been a giver; of time and of finances.  Now with out the focus of meeting the immediate needs of my kids I am finding that I have so much more to give.  I am starting to see more opportunities to volunteer.  If you are responsible to your time you can find so many opportunities to spend a few minutes helping someone or organization.  I am also finding more opportunities to give financially.  In the past I would say, "I don't have the finances to give."  Until I opened my eyes and gave FIRST I really didn't see the blessings that come from it.  It is out of obedience to God that we give, He gave it to us so out of obedience we give back from the fruits that He gives.  When the hubby and I began to tithe we saw our finances being blessed, out of our obedience to God we became more obedient in our spending.
3. Building relationships:  I have always loved getting know people.  Just ask any of my kids or my husband, I can talk!  But I don't just talk to talk, I talk to allow another person to know that they matter.  Some of the people I will never see again, but in that moment they know they matter.  When my kids were young and I was extremely frustrated with being alone with them for extended periods of time and wanted to run, I read something that changed the way I responded to them.  It said to light up when your child walks in the room like it is the first time you have seen them in a long time.  Light up when you see people, give them a moment of love and acceptance.  You won't only bless them but you will be blessed.
4. Dreams and Desires:  I am finding that they are now are mine.  For so many years I have been so focused on the dreams and desires of my kids and my husband that those were my dreams and desires also.  I am not stating this because I feel as if I gave mine up but that those were MINE, fulfilling the dreams and desires as best I could for my family.  Not that I am no longer a supporter and encourager of their dreams and desires but my boys have become independent men, they are the drivers of their dreams and desires.  Now it is time for MINE!!!!!
5. Writing:  I have always loved writing but had never been encouraged through my childhood.  I often wrote prayers and hid them away in books.  I also wrote a Christmas children's book that I even illustrated.  While at a Professional Baseball Christian Conference there was an ask for women who would like to write devotionals for the Baseball Chapel website to please contact the woman who oversaw the devotions.  I struggled for a while if I was good enough to write, but the Lord overtook those fears and I have been writing them for over 8 years now!  This year I have become even more focused on writing as I feel God has pushed me in that direction.  With this blog and a writing class I am taking with a friend I feel the skill of writing is developing!  I am going to enjoy writing and whatever the Lord brings to me.

As I continue my journey through the seasons of endings and beginnings I have one major goal....To see the blessings the Lord has given me and is continuing to give to me while praising Him through it all!!!!

Worry....

For all the times I have worried about what I will do 'tomorrow' when the nest is close to empty it is all a pointless waste of time...
So many days I have spent worrying about what I am going to do with my life when my baby boy has flown the coop.  What I am finding myself doing is not living today.  There are many things left to do with him in the house, or on the road as our summer has been full of!  We have traveled over 3,000 miles since June 15th.  This crazy life of travel baseball has had us going through seven states, playing in three tournaments in three different states, at 11 different baseball fields while eating at tooooo many fast food restaurants and staying in a variety of hotels.  If I look at today I have plenty to be busy with and thankful for.

Matthew 6:25-34New International Version (NIV)

Do Not Worry

25 “Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothes? 26 Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? 27 Can any one of you by worrying add a single hour to your life[a]?

28 “And why do you worry about clothes? See how the flowers of the field grow. They do not labor or spin. 29 Yet I tell you that not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these. 30 If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, will he not much more clothe you—you of little faith? 31 So do not worry, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’ 32 For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. 33 But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. 34 Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.

My personal remedy to worry about impending empty nest....
1.  Wake up and thank God for the day and all that He has in store for you!
2.  Quiet time with the Lord, build that relationship daily!
3.  Enjoy every grumpy attitude, eye rolling and occasional hug that this crazy teenager gives.  Ok sometimes I don't enjoy it but I tolerate it.
4.  Take time to reflect over the past positives of raising kids, not the 'What did I do wrong?' That worry is in the past don't bring it to the future.
5.  Look for the moments that are few and far between but all that more enjoyable, the music, the laughter, the jokes that you share with the teenager in your life.  There are many when you focus on them.

Tomorrow has enough worry of its own...focus on the positive of the day that you are present in right now.  Then the worry of tomorrow that you left yesterday will be the joy of today!!!